So last night...... I started to think through some of the problems I find in myself.
The major one being how easily bored I am with people, with things.
It's crazy because I find myself wanting someone or something, but whenever someone attempts to step up to the plate, they fall short.
Now this is in no way a shot at anyone who has tried to get romantically close to me, it's just the truth.
I've realized that the only way that I may find love is if it's unexpected. I'm far too much of a analytical, calculative person for someone to think that they can plan a way in without me figuring it out and immediately making a judgement call.
I know that at the root of this difficulty, I am part of the problem. I have to stop writing people off when they're what I expect. I have to seriously stop letting my imagination determine how I feel about someone. That's a big part of my saga. It's been like this since I was younger..... give me and idea and I'll run with it. Give me attention and I'll run with it. A person could text me that they like me and I've already planned out how the rest of the ordeal will play out. If it doesn't fit the plan I'm disinterested.
I blame Love Jones for making me set the bar high and leaving me with impressionable ideas for my own life. I've got to get out of my head. Truly, I need to start writing these ideas out instead of placing them on real relationships. We'll see.
With that being said, I have a new goal of letting someone in this year. It won't be an easy task but it has to happen. Fort Ade must come down. *sashays*