On the tenth day of January, I had an epiphany.
I realized that I have a tendency to jump on a bandwagon whenever it sounds really good. This occurs A LOT when the bandwagon is academic. I have to be honest with myself and say that I still don't know exactly what I want to do with my life.
On one end of the spectrum, I know that I want a career that I can be in love with. On the other side, I want something that I know can sustain me and the growing student debt I'm finding myself in. Student loans are depressing as fuck. I decided to look at my repayment options and seeing that the year 2100 would be the date of my last payment (if I was to continue to pay $25 a month) made me absolutely sick. As a result, I found myself having to get real with in realizing that I need to reconsider job fields and job titles.
It sucks that this is the way that our society is set up. No school? Good luck finding a job paying over $10/hr. School? Student loans out of this universe, but a necessary for anything over five figures. Even after the first step, that's not enough. We need Masters and PhD's just to be able to put food on the table.
I'd be lying if I said that I feel defeated. Secretly I know that I haven't quite found the dream job or field for myself. What I do know, is that I am more than capable of succeeding in whatever I set my mind to. After all, with God by my side am I really settling?
I pray that over the course of these 365 days that I will find a path that leads me to my career calling. It's going to take effort on my end as far as research and getting myself into positions of retrieving knowledge.